Today I held a boundary! YAY! So in celebration, here is a post about Boundaries.
Whenever I think about boundaries, I think about the magical force field in the last Harry Potter film. Hogwarts is the last safe place from the Dark Lord. The “good guys” place a magical force field around the school to protect the students. And for a moment, this beautiful bubble holds up against the attacks of the “bad guys”. But eventually, the force field is hit with too much powerful opposition and it falls.
I remember times when I had a boundary that was pushed and pushed and pushed against until I could no longer maintain that boundary. I can have this beautiful boundary, and then – POP.
Do you ever feel that way?
For example, I can say,
“Okay kids, I’ll buy ice cream for you guys, but I’m not going to eat any of it. because it’s not Keto.”
Me being boundaried
See, I was clear. I told people who would hold me to account. (My kids don’t let me get away with anything. They are on me like brown on chocolate.) Aaaand … Well you know the end of that story.
So, I reformulate. I think, If I could just create a better boundary – THE PERFECT BOUNDARY – then it would work perfectly. (you know where this is headed.)
So, it’s the next time I go shopping and I say
“Okay kids, I’ll buy ice cream for you guys, but I’m not going to eat any of it. because it’s not Keto. Instead, I’m going to buy Keto Ice cream instead. … Yes, it is just for me. … No, you can’t have any, you have plenty of the regular ice cream.”
Me being even more boundaried
So, I get home, I eat a whole pint of Keto ice cream. I look in the freezer and see all the ice cream there. I choose not to eat it. Three trips to the fridge later, I get out my second pint of Keto ice cream and plan to eat only 1/4 of it. You know where this is headed – to the bathroom. A body can only handle so much erythritol and other sugar alcohols. Day 1 ends a little less successfully than hoped for.
And them what happens on day two? I start in on the kid’s ice cream … sneakily … when they aren’t looking.
Yes child, you can keep watching that thing on the screen. Don’t mind me. I’ll just be over here, in the kitchen. Nothing to see here.
Me not keeping my boundaries
So maybe I need to stop trying to make the perfect, unbreakable boundary – A boundary to end all boundaries.
A new strategy is needed.
Will Emma come up with a Strategy to better maintain her boundaries? Will she stop eating her trigger food? Will her children figure out her deception? Find out in the next post of Kind Courage Keto.