In my post “Why ‘Courage’ in Kind Courage Keto?”, I talked about the mind being the filter to the heart, or core beliefs. Here is a portion of what I said in that post:
Thoughts float into my mind like seeds in the wind. The ones that stay, settle into my heart and begin to grow. To protect my most precious beliefs, sometimes I need to weed out the harmful beliefs. They are the most tricky. They are the ones that I have let grow for years and keep coming back, so I keep weeding them. Sometimes I can mulch and not let anything grow unless it has been vetted out first. Sometimes I can identify a thought and cast it out before it becomes a problem. Whatever I can do to keep my precious beliefs growing and bearing good fruit.
Emma Swan Johnston
This is the reason why it is so important to be very careful about how I speak to myself. (See the post “Strike ‘I’m fat’ From Your Vocabulary”.) This is why it’s important to take a pause before acting. (See the post “Vision”.) This is why it’s so important to inspect the way I see the world and get different perspectives. (See “‘Try Harder’ Doesn’t Work”.) This is why Curiosity is such an important part of self reflection.
Curiosity Grows.
If we go back to the garden-of-your-heart analogy, it’s good to wonder
what is growing in my heart,
what energy and space is it taking up,
how is it enriching me,
and what is its production capacity?
I also want to consider what borders and boundaries I have around this garden. Some people encourage me to “keep an open mind”. I think a fence and garden gate is open enough. Some may balk, but it’s not their garden. They will not reap the fruit, good or bad, I will.
I may want to consider the soil conditions. In Utah Valley, where I live, that immediately brings to mind fist sized rocks and clay soil nearly as hard as cement (unless you had enough forethought to water the spot ahead of time). The soil amendments of the heart may be needed. Some people warn me of the dangers of a heart that is too soft, too trusting, too eager to believe. Again, I point to the fence and gate – my mental boundaries. I choose what stays. I admire the pile of rocks that I have sifted out: they do not get to stay. I take joy in the roots that can now sink deeper still into my heart, nourishing and anchoring my core beliefs in my heart.
I take time to consider what kind of pests keep wriggling their way in. Some coaches call them “gremlins”. Anticipatory anxiety needs to be kept in check. Thought spirals can damage the best of seedlings. Guilt is generally beneficial. Shame decimates. Shame cannot be avoided, but must be dealt with swiftly. Some people tell me that I need to “be realistic”, or “honest”, or “hard on myself” to improve (AKA use shame to change, it doesn’t work). I have two words for them, “fence” and “gate”.
Curiostiy is a skill that helps me to work on the little garden of my heart. Curiosity helps it Grow.
- How will you practice curiosity today?
