I was reading in a book with fortresses and good guys fighting the good fight, and bad guys who wanted to take over the land, and put up a king and take away everyone’s freedom.
In that story, the good guys were getting new recruits everyday. But it wasn’t because, y’know – they are the good guys. It was because the good guys took the time to prepare and build up a bunch of fortresses and other defences, and outfitting all of their people with head to foot armor. The people who enlisted felt safe enough to enlist. It was also less of a risk to leave their families behind the safety of the fortress walls.
I love this story and try to read it every year. But that overlooked detail floated to the top on this time through. I was thinking about how that applies to boundaries.
When I have boundaries like invisible armor that keeps my body safe, I have more capacity to act courageously. If I have strong boundaries around self-deprication and how I talk to myself in my mind, I am prepared to handle what others may say. I can stay firm in my belief that I am worthy of love and belonging. I can stand firm in my belief that my body is a gift.
When I have a community of support, we all agree on boundaries that keep the community safe and make it a safe place to share and connect, much like a fortress. In those communities, I have more capacity to courageously speak up about what I’m going through, without fear that it will be used against me. I have more capacity for kindness, because I know it doesn’t leave me vulnerable to attack.
- What will you protect with your boundaries?