4 C’s of Happiness

In my last post, I talked about the difference between pleasure and happiness. I also talked about the role of pleasure in addictive behaviors. Happiness then, becomes a powerful tool to fight addiction. So then, how do I access happiness? One model proposed by Dr. Robert Lustig is the “4 C’s of Happiness“

Connect

Connection is a biological need. When I had my first child, he was born a little early and did not have the “brown fat” needed. He was too weak to nurse and his blood sugar took a dive. We had been told about the benefits of skin to skin or kangaroo care. Both my husband and I took turns holding my son against our bare skin. My son made a dramatic improvement and was able to suckle. This experience strengthened our bond and strenghtened my belief in the power of physical contact.

For me, it makes sense that as social creatures, we need connection to feel safe, to feel like our other needs will be met. Connection provides a security that cannot be replaced. Happiness can be found in loving, connected relationships.

Contribute

Contributing includes adding value, serving, and helping. My one beef with the choice of the word “contribute” is that it often implies that a person needs to give more than they take. It can create the fallacy that anytime I use a resource, that I am no longer contributing. I often get caught in the trap of, “I am a burden.”

I have experienced the joy that comes from caring for others AND the joy that comes from being cared for. When we carry burdens together we open our access to happiness.

Cope

Self care, sleep, exercize, emotional regulation and other healthy ways of coping are in this category. This one is a tricky one. Some of the things touted as self care are cleverly disguised addictions or other unhealthy coping behaviors. I have a test to see if something is a healthy way to cope or not. If I separate from the situation, do something to cope, and then come back to the tough situation, healthy coping should make me feel refreshed and more capable to handle the tough situation. Unhealthy coping helps me to ignore the pain, only for that pain to flare up the moment I come back to resolve the tough situation.

Some chronic conditions and mental health problems may make “perfect health” impossible. But caring for your body and your wellbeing allows a person to have a better chance for happiness and peace.

Cook

Cooking allows someone to have more freedom over what goes inside their bodies. As a pediatric endochronologist (childhood diabetes doctor), Dr. Robert Lustig sees what happens to a body that is at the mercy of the food industry. For Dr. Lustig, cooking represents the ability to use food to impact the hormones in extremely positive ways.

But Cooking also mingles into the good effects of the other C’s. Cooking and eating with others connects people. Cooking can be an excellent way to contribute and share. (stone soup anyone?) Cooking is a beautiful part of coping and caring for the beautiful body we have. Cooking brings happiness.

Other C’s

Here is where I add some of my own C’s: the honorable mentions.

Collaborate: Not just pouring in what you have to give, but playing off of each other’s strengths to build something neither could do alone.

Create: I like this one better than cooking. I feel like cooking is just one piece of creating. I was collaborating with my husband about how “cooking” related to feeding my soul. We both reflected on the soul filling discussions we had with small groups of people. We pondered on the word “feast” and thought about how that was not just by yourself eating one thing until you’re bursting- that’s called a binge. A feast is about gathereing with people and enjoying and having gratitude for the abundace before you.

Consecrate: Sacrifice is about giving something up. Consecrate is dedicating something to be used, not burned up or lost, but used for a specific purpose. Consecrate is about keeping a commitment. Consecrate is about protecting precious things like time, or finances, or energy. It’s saying, “I will use this, but in a way that brings me and others joy and peace.”

Questions For You

• How will you practice the 4 C’s?
• Do you have other C’s that you would add to the list?