I remember advice given to me as a new mom, after my first baby was born. “Don’t worry about the housework. Just take time to enjoy your baby.” But at that moment, I hadn’t showered because I didn’t have clean clothes to put on after my shower.
That advice came from where the person was at, not where I was at. I do the same thing plenty of times. It’s just normal human stuff. However, I do wish I had been given the space for my voice and my concerns to be heard. (And maybe an exclamation of, “Oh, can I get it started for you,” or “Could we do it together?”)
All that to say – sometimes Self-Care looks like laundry. Sometimes it looks like dishes. Sometimes it looks like mopping the floor, because you have a touch sensitivity, and the feel of the grossness on your feet makes you want to stay in bed and do nothing. (Just me?) Sometimes Self-Care looks like a nap. Sometimes it looks like finishing the one thing that you know is going to get undone if you take that nap. (Dumping happens at record speeds around here.)
Sometimes the Self-Care I need is “Together-Care”, where both people feel seen, heard, and wanted. Sometimes Self-Care is showing my kids how to care for each other, and then being surprised when they find ways to care for me. Self-Care is not a principle of selfishness. Self-above-others does not bring the happiness promised by Self-Care. Self-Care is about valuing care for yourself, and valuing care for others. I’m not putting myself first and above others. I’m putting caring for people first. And I’m one of those people.
And sometimes, the care I need is laundry, so I can take a shower.
Take Care!