If something bad happenes to me, and I focus on “why did I deserve this?”, my pain, and feelings of unfairness will increase.
If I focus on “what can I do to heal?”, multiple modes of healing will pop up all around me.
If something bad happened in my past, and I focus on how that bad thing might happen in the future, I will be unable to move. I may even set bad things in motion, as I try to prove to myself that this thing always happens to me.
If I focus on healthy ways to cope with the past, and reasonable hopes for the future, I will see opportunities for what they are, and be able to grab them.
If I’m trying to get rid of a negative coping mechanism, I am more likely to succeed if I focus on the behavior I want to encourage.
If I want to have joy in the journey, I need to open my heart to that joy by practicing gratitude.
This is not just about staying on the sunny side of life.
If I know there is a problem, I may spend time analyzing it, meticulously, carefully. But how I analyze the problem makes a difference. If I analyze the problem, with faith that there is a solution to the problem, I will begin to unconsiously highlight the areas that do have a solution. The ratio of solvable to unsolvable may just be high enough for a functional solution to be implemented.
If I am helping someone who needs emotional support, I often go spelunking in a cave of very dark and painful emotions. If I focus on making absolutely sure that they have their facts straight, and that there are no exagerations, I won’t get very far. They will not feel seen or heard.
If I focus on trying to find the emotion – to give it space, give it voice, let it breathe – connection and healing are able to happen.
I can do this for myself too. I can give attention to my pain, sorrow, grief, or shame, with a focus on healing. I can take time to be mindful.
- What do you want to grow this week, and what will help you focus on it?